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Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Snap Shot: The Season Has Started!

Oh hell fucking yes – hockey is back. Granted it’s only preseason, but after months of athletic inactivity I’m scraping for resin like a stoner out of weed. Fall has finally come. It’s back. I am actually sitting in front of my TV getting ready to watch a live and semi-meaningful game. Thank you, hockey gods. You don’t know how much I needed this.

In my opinion, one of the best parts of hockey season is the bi-nightly entertainment it provides via television. Quick, what’s your favorite TV show? Well, whatever it is, does it provide you with brand new two hour long episodes three to four nights a week roughly ninety times a year? Nope, didn’t think so. When I know a Rangers game is on that night, my day is just plain better. It’s filled with positive thoughts about how badly we’re going to kick the shit out of whoever it is we’re playing. I smile more. I hold the door open for complete strangers. I dish out the finger a lot less to annoying drivers who always seem to have New York or New Jersey lisence plates.

I got a brief glimpse of that good feeling groove during the Traverse City Prospects Tournament, but it just wasn’t the same. I missed the regular round of games but was pumped to see us slide into the finals after losing to Carolina. All day I was inexplicably happy. What was it again? Why was I in a good mood? Oh yeah, fucking Rangers game on tonight! Sure, it’s just the kids, but I’ll take it! So of course I get all dolled up to watch my blueshirts play for the championship, even though it’s in some high school looking rink straight out of MSG varsity. The kids were good but they lost in the end, beaten by a good Buffalo team we should all start being concerned about. We went 2-2 in total, but we came out of Traverse City with a lot of positive prospect press. I believe it was the great animated philosopher Gorillaz who once said, “prospects are useless, but not for long. The future is coming on.”

One thing the prospect tournament did teach me was to appreciate MSG Networks a little more. Do you know why the NHL Network could only show Ranger games from Traverse City? Because we’re the only team who sent a cable crew capable of televising it! I saw a ton of tiny town tools complaining about the New York bias on message boards and I laughed out loud at their grievances. Yeah, you wish you were Ranger fans! You wish you were the #1 most desirable television market in the world. It’s only because of our greatness that you were even able to watch your lowly Blues battle our precious Blueshirts. Take your city-envy and shove it where the sun don’t shine! And give us back JD! That brief press box appearance he made was priceless for us nostalgic types. OH Baby!!!

Ok, it’s game time. Gotta run. Did I forget something? Oh yeah, LET’S GO RANGERS!

PS - What the hockey stick is with these Technical Difficulties, MSG? I just spent two paragraphs praising your name. You better get this shit together before this game starts or I swear I’ll edit said praise to make it look like you lure kids into your van with promises of candy. Fucking Albany…

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