Preseason Wrap Up: Frolunda/Slovan/Zug and The End of Sean Avery

Holy hell, what a week! I thought I could coast through the rest of the preseason but this team just refuses to stop making headline news. Between the three televised games in the Europe, the cuts and the waived players, our New York Rangers are staying busy. As excited as I am to look ahead to Friday, let’s take a minute and wrap up the Rangers’ preseason action.

Last Friday’s game against Swedish club Frolunda was essentially Henrik Lundqvist celebration night. The pregame ceremonies, the extended ovations, the alternate captain’s A on Lundy’s chest, it all felt more like a spectacle than an actual game. The home team’s tenacity didn’t help that cause either. Frolunda looked weak and unwilling to battle physically. A Ranger victory felt like pure formality, even when the teams were tied at one at the end of the first. Goals from Kris Newbury, MDZ, Christensucks and Rupper put the game out of the reach for the Swedes, who were led by Henrik’s twin brother Joe-El “Don’t Call Me Joel” Lundqvist. Zuccarello had a hell of a game and continued to impress with two great assists, but many point to the larger ice surfaces as the reason he seems so at home out there. Too many penalties was once again a problem. This team needs to stay disciplined if they want to avoid falling behind in games. Even these European power play units are making us look like high schoolers down a man. Regardless, it was Henrik’s night. No one wanted to ruin the homecoming, including the Frolunda players.

Sunday afternoon saw the Rangers in Slovakia battling HC Slovan. If the Frolunda game was a feel-good affair with a party atmosphere, this game felt like a funeral. Gaborik’s homecoming brought back recent memories of Pavol Demitra’s death, and the Slovakian audience seemed subdued because of it. The MSG feed kept showing a giant portrait of Pavol with a #38 R.I.P. written underneath it. The travel was finally starting to take its toll on the Rangers who came out looking flat and took a ton of penalties. Slovan capitalized on one odd man opportunity and grabbed a 1-0 lead going into the first intermission. The Rags came out flying in the second and put in 2 straight goals on a 5-on-3 man advantage. MZA’s tally was completely the work of Brad Richards; just watching what he does on the PP, even without the puck, makes you understand how a true quarterback runs the show. Boyle’s goal was also on the power play and showcased the big boy’s improving hands. He made no mistake flipping a Dan Girardi pass into the top shelf of Slovan’s net. Anisimov scored the third goal after a brilliant shorthanded forecheck from, who else, Brandon Prust. Prusty bowled over the Slovan goalie and found Artie in the slot for an easy open netter. McDonagh finished off the scoring with a slick wrister in the third and the Rangers left Slovakia with a 4-1 win.

And when I say they left Slovakia, I mean they literally left as soon as the game was done. Gabbaslab wasn’t given much of a chance to chill with his attending friends and family and he sounded a little bummed because of it. Regardless, the Rangers had a game in Switzerland the next day so it was on to the land of ski slopes and war time neutrality. The contest against EV Zug was the last of the preseason, but it was also the most exciting to watch. The crowd was absolutely out of control. A little over seven thousand turned this hockey game into a full on futbol match. Drums, singing, chanting, groans, moans and excited cheers didn’t stop for the full sixty minutes. The first period was insane. Biron let in three in the first, including one absolute stinker that trickled through his glove and into the net. The Rangers tied things up after scoring two goals in the final two minutes of the period. The Zuggernauts scored two quick goals in both the second and the third to bring the game fully out of Ranger reach. Regardless of the score and how flat the Rangers looked, it was one hell of a hockey game. EV Zug played offensive straight up and down. Their passing was north/south and they went hard to the net for second opportunities. At least 3 of the game’s goals were pure highlight reel material. 8-4 was the final, the first loss for the Rangers in Europe. It’s hard to get hung up on this one when the real stuff is only days away. Bring on the regular season, baby!

But wait! Before Friday rolls around we’ve got some serious news to deal with. Sean Avery is no longer a New York Ranger. OK, OK, so he’s cleared waivers and is now subject to a Hartford demotion, but we all know it won’t go that far. Sean is not a minor leaguer. He’s a New York based restaurant baron with a passion for fashion and the big city lights. Asking him to go to Hartford would be like asking Monet to paint lilies in Iceland. Ain’t gonna happen. Europe is a possible option, according to his agent, so we’ll see where he winds up in the long run. This decision from the Rangers front office is a polarizing one, probably the first issue in a while where not everyone sees eye to eye. Let’s breakdown the booting of Sean Avery, shall we?

The number one reason for this move is the cap situation. I’m a writer; I hate math. Cap crunching and waiver numbers make my head hurt, so I look at it as simply as possible. Avery’s contract costs more than Christensen’s, so ditching the Vogue Rogue gives the team more space to sign another defenseman. It’s pretty black and white when you only look at the numbers, but I just don’t feel satisfied with that simple dollars and cents explanation. Torts said that EC gives him more options (power play and shootout specifically) and so he’s more valuable to the team’s overall goal. Fine, whatever, I can accept Avery’s gap in top six skill. But in reality, these two underachievers were battling for the 13th forward spot - the healthy scratch position. Who the fuck cares if your press box pony boy can score in the shootout, the dude doesn’t dress! Sure, he’ll be there to jump in for an injured top six forward but is Erik Christensen really the kind of kid who can sit for ten games and then come out roaring? Does he have the mental maturity to understand that every time he touches the ice he should be injecting fresh life into a tired squad? Can he be a catalyst for energy and excitement? I don’t freaking think so.

You need a 13th forward who can understand his role. He needs to sit, wait and work hard until his team needs the spark. Maybe we lost a forward for a week or two, maybe we just look flat for five straight games, but we need someone to hop into the lineup and give it some life. That’s Sean Avery! He’s a veteran guy who would have done anything to help his Rangers. He loves men’s suits, so sitting in the press box modeling new Kenneth Cole threads would not have bothered him. He is a pure energy player. He’s exactly the kind of weapon you want in your not-always-on-the-ice arsenal. I just don’t get it. Judging by the spot they were fighting for, I just don’t understand the logic. How is he battling for the final roster spot and then getting healthy scratched? How is he supposed to prove himself to Torts, who we know has always hated him? Just doesn’t compute. Oh well. I guess that’s why I’m not GM of the Rangers… yet…

So long Sean. I hope you find success in whatever it is that you do, whether it’s hockey, fashion or food. Between the goofy tinted glasses, the allegations of racist remarks and the arrest in LA, you never let it get boring. You single-handedly legalized gay marriage in New York. You pissed off Marty Broduer like no one else ever could, and for that, we will always consider your career as a Ranger a successful one. Thanks for the memories and come back soon. We’ll still chant your name like you never got waived.

Last Night Lookback - NYR (2) - SPR (0)

Do you remember that freakishly obsessive excitement I described that comes with the day of a Rangers game? Well yesterday that feeling was stunted in so many ways, it became deformed, mangled and emotionally confused. Not only was it a 1pm puck drop (which it is again today), it also wasn’t broadcast anywhere. No TV, no radio, nothing. Normally I’d be able to push the limits of a stretched lunch hour for a period or two and then watch the third back at the office, but this development actually forced me to sit at my desk for two and a half hours straight. I hate taking lunch hour in the office. I need to get out of that place at least once every day for a significant chunk of time. It keeps me fresh, you know how I roll. There I was, lunchless in my cube, all live sports sites thoroughly searched, I resolved myself to blueshirts united dot com’s live chat room with Rangers writer Jim Cerny. Oh boy, was I in for a treat…

Following in the written only chat room was torturously boring and without question the worst way to take in a hockey game. You’re signed in with some user name or facebook account and you type in messages or questions or whatever and then when you press send, it tells you your comment has been submitted for approval. Are you kidding me? Fuck censorship! More than half of my comments didn’t even make it through, and I honestly wasn’t being inappropriate in any way, shape or form. One failed post came after they mentioned the Prague fans beating drums and singing songs with their cheerleaders and their torch-wielding, ice-skating gladiators, I said I’ve always wanted to bring drums and flares into MSG and go European sports fan on the place, but the NYC norm would be all shh and sit downish. After he scored the Rangers second goal, I said “Ruslan ‘Rosy Cheeks’ Fedotenko! Guy’s got blush for days”, but that also didn’t make it past the guards. And even when I did get a comment through, it took so freaking long that whatever I sent was totally irrelevant by the time it got approved. Very frustrating stuff for someone so used to spewing unedited rants.

Jim’s updates were relatively helpful (and I would be his assistant in a second, what a sick job). You knew when a power play was happening, you kind of got how the game was progressing, and you knew when a goal was scored. But in between the actual observations of the game from people watching it live, you had to deal with some of the dumbest comments ever uttered by Ranger fans. Some d-nozzle said that the Rangers haven’t been the same since they traded Scott Gomez. At least 200 other people besides me answered back - yeah, they've been better since he left. This guy also said it was dumb to trade Roszival and that Redden should be called back up for our first D pairing. After I while I honestly thought he had to be kidding, but who actually does stuff like that? Who sits at their computer and just says dumb shit about their favorite team? Some other space cadet was talking about how we should sign Matt Cooke. “Cooke-Shelly-Asham should be the top line for NYR” is a direct quote. Are you fucking kidding me? I couldn’t believe that crap was getting through, and I was powerless to retort with no chance of getting my comebacks approved. Someone asked what the loudest American hockey building is and a person actually answered New Jersey. I have to assume they did it with a straight face too. NEW JERSEY!? Yeah, maybe if they’re playing the Rangers, but hell no way is that even close to being true. The Devils have 728 fans total. Their building isn't full enough to be loud enough, they're just annoying. Sadly enough I would put money on Philly being the loudest, though Washington can get pretty pumped too. Minny? I don't know, feel free to share your opinion. Regardless of arena volume, the point is that people were just saying factually misguided and insanely idiot statements left and right. It, too, was very frustrating for someone so used to the eloquent and intelligent readers I've been so blessed with.

As far as the game goes, it sounds like the win was not well worked for. Marty Biron was the star of the afternoon pitching a shutout and stoning Sparta on numerous odd man rushes. Anisimov got the team’s first goal followed by Fedotenko’s PP follow up less than three minutes later. Erixon had an assist but was credited with two (Stepan definitely had the other on a sick passing sequence for their second tally), MDZ and Dubinsky each notched a point as well. It sounds like we came out flat in the first, maybe a little jet lagged and sluggish, picked it up in the second to score both goals and settled down in the third. It didn’t sound like an exciting last frame, but the boys in blue managed to keep Sparta off the board and come away from Prague with another preseason victory. Christensen was in for Wolski (groin) and it doesn’t sound like he made the most of his opportunity. I really hope we cut this guy soon. Seeing that same idiot who wanted Redden back up say that EC is awesome and that he should have a spot on the team simply for shootouts helped to confirm my own Christensen conclusion. He’s garbage; a waste of a roster spot. Bye-bye. Thanks for showing up once every ten games.

So today’s game against the Frolunda Indians should be a lot better, if only because it’s being broadcast on MSG and so following along in a chatroom is unnecessary. It’s Hank’s hometown team and he’ll very much be the center of everyone’s attention. Twin brother Joel is now captain of the Indians, so they will meet on the ice as friends and family watch from the stands. Weird team name for a bunch of Swedes – the Indians. Did we send all our Native Americans to Scandinavia back in the day or something? Is that where they all went? Now they have a hockey team in Frolunda and a couple casinos in Connecticut and life is all good, right? I’m fairly certain that’s how that whole trail of tears thing worked out...

Allright, there’s work to be done. If I’m going to zone out all afternoon watching this Rangers game, I need to be productive now. This hangover sure isn’t helping though. Until next time, fellow fans - LET'S GO RANGERS!

Last Night Lookback - NYR (3) vs PHI (5)

Well that didn’t feel like a preseason hockey game. That felt like a freaking battle royal cage match. It was football paced because of all the penalties and you can’t get a flow going when your blowing all your power plays by going down a man yourself. If you eliminate the 3 short handed goals against, you probably don’t have an empty net situation and maybe you win that game 2-1 or 3-1. Maybe it's just guys eager to fight or follow through on a hit because they’re battling for roster spots, but playoff scrums after every whistle just gets old after a while.

Mitchell had a great goal and looked solid throughout the game. He and Weise are making things difficult on Torts but I have a feeling they’ll both be in Hartford before the trip out west. MZA played well at first but I think he started doing too much towards the end of the 2nd. Hank looks ready, Boyle looks ready, Girardi looks ready. Did you see that MSG in-game audio clip where Boyle and the rest of the power play unit literally draw up that third goal? That’s quality communication right there. Of course we all know the real player of the game – Jaromir Jagr. God damn. He’s such a lumbering fat ass out there, but he knows how to take those strengths to elite advantage better than anyone else I’ve ever seen. The shot is still there; he is a legitimate power play threat now and the Rangers need to take note of that for future games (read: first paragraph). Let’s be clear on one thing – do not take Jaromir Jagr’s NHL revival lightly, at least not until he disappears come game 43.

But no one’s talking about the game. They’re talking about Fagate. They’re talking about Sean Avery's accusation that Wayne Simmonds called him a homophobic slur. Now let me preface this by saying that I do not condone any type of discrimination, racial, sexual or otherwise, but this whole thing just feels wrong. I honestly wish this didn’t happen, especially after Bananagate. You can’t deny that Sean did a great thing this summer by speaking out for gay marriage, and he continues to support a variety of charitable and humanitarian initiatives, but I think it's a far shot from speaking out to flapping at the mouth. When people don’t like you (and people don’t like Sean Avery), they tend to approach your drama in the most sinisterly biting way possible. Considering the rumors about what Avery has said to African Americans on the ice, one could certainly see this episode as a racially motivated accusation. Would Sean Avery make this big a deal about it if Wayne Simmonds was white?

Let's also recognize when this went from small on-ice incident to giant media circus. This whole thing started because Sean was sitting in his locker after the game with his split open big toe bleeding all over the place and some subconsciously racist beat guys who saw what Simmonds yelled told Sean what they saw and asked Sean if he saw it too and Sean just honestly answered yes. One small word of confirmation and now the big headline is "Avery: Simmonds Called Me Homophobic Slur". I get that he's caught in something completely out of context. Maybe he doesn’t care at all and understands that shit gets said in the heat of hockey battles. I don’t know. I wasn’t there. Regardless, the whole episode just leaves a sour taste in your mouth. I can't condone the language used, but this isn't news at all.

In my opinion, what gets said on the ice should stay on the ice unless it’s racially or sexually inappropriate. In those two cases, I can support the league taking action. Life and hockey are not always that simple though. I do believe there is a difference between saying a skin-based slur and an orientation-based slur. The status of the former is obvious and the status of the latter is not. Wayne Simmonds is definitely black. Sean Avery, by all accounts, is not gay. If there was an openly gay professional hockey player visibly discriminated against by a fellow player, then that would be a different story. Despite his connection to their causes, the slurs shouldn’t really sting Sean that much. He of all players should be used to that word. He probably get called a (n): bundle of sticks or twigs at least 400 times throughout the year, but the one time a black player screams it at him and gets caught on camera, the whole white world of hockey goes nuts.

That’s another thing – you’re on fucking live television guys! Watch what you say, let alone scream, whilst being broadcast across the continent. Hockey players usually do a great job at censoring themselves, especially in those on-ice mic situations. I would definitely be dropping f-bombs during live interviews and not even noticing it. I truly believe that last night was an unfortunate slip up of live television, not an indication of some overarching issue of hockey homophobia.

It’s all just so unfortunate. I wish we weren’t talking about it. I wish we weren’t talking about Avery’s arrest this summer and Frolov’s comments in the Russian press. I wish we were talking about Sean’s play on the ice and the team’s trip to Europe. So in the spirit of distaste for this subject, I leave you with this hockey haiku entitled, “If You Don’t Have Anything Nice To Say, Don’t Say Anything At All”.

White, black, gay or straight
Hockey is for everyone
Talk is cheap, just play.

Snap Shot: Winter Classic Press Conference Is The Definition of Old News

Today's press spectacle from Citizen's Bank Park helped set a new standard in spoiled announcements. This news is so old it's claiming newsfeed social security. It's the Larry King of headlines. It's turned into solid stone fact after extreme overexposure to common knowledge. It's like that six foot foreign "kid" in every Little League World Series with no legitimate birth certificate but somehow he's rocking a formidable mustache. You're not news, Winter Classic Press Conference. You're not even passable. You look nothing like news. You brought us nothing we didn't know. You're so non-news, this article didn't even pass the Bar(stool exam of pertinence) today. Even the Nets getting renamed the Nets was deemed newsworthy today! You embarrassed me, Winter Classic Press Conference. OK? Did you know that? Alright. Now that's enough of the tough love. Let's kiss, make up and move on...

Since it was first reported, the January 2nd match up has been confirmed in almost every way with the exception of an actual league announcement. Knock-off jerseys started selling online months ago, HBO cameras are already following around the two teams in training camp and the official season schedule release left little else to guess about. Well, now it's been made official - the New York Rangers will play the Philadelphia Flyers in the 2012 Bridgestone Winter Classic. Hell freaking yes, I say. I say screw the Flyers and those know-it-all Mayans. Bring on 2012 eh es eh pee. If we make good on Glen Sather's "guarantee" of a Cup championship this season, I'll be happy with the predicted end of the world. "NOW I CAN DIE IN PEACE", we'll all say.

But back to the subject, pumped doesn't even begin to describe my New Years game excitement. Let's get one thing clear - I don't want to go. I need to go. I am going. I'm already there son. It's a fact of my future certain as death. So if you somehow find yourself with an extra ticket, your first thought should be to contact me. I'm being dead serious. Holla atchya blueshirt boy! After all, who wouldn't want GQ's Hottest Hockey Blogger Under 25 as their Winter Classic wing man?

The seasonal festivities kick off on December 14th with HBO's priceless 24/7 show and won't stop until the series ceases on January 4th. In the middle you've got the alumni game, the classic itself and everything that comes with being part of the outdoor fiesta. It's a good thing I've still got limbs to spare because these freaking tickets are going to cost me at least an arm and a leg. Excuse me while I go start writing letters to Santa and loosening up my jaw.

@Osgood_StoolNYC

PS - Between Glen Sather gauranteeing a Ranger Stanley Cup AND a Yankee World Series, last night's preseason penalty orgy and Wayne "Banana Grabber" Simmonds calling Sean "PSA" Avery a fagel, yesterday certainly set the tone for one hell of a heated Winter Classic. Sweet retro logo, Philadelphia. Looks like you really swung for the fences on that one...

Last Night Lookback - NYR (4) vs NJD (3)

Well winning sure is fun, even if it’s in the meaningless preseason. I’m still enjoying the return of the hockey night high and watching our Blueshirts bang in 4 goals on Sharty Bropuer sure helps extend that. It was the only Ranger game all weekend, but I enjoyed my hockey appetizer. It was good to get a game in before football starts getting shoved down my throat over the next 48 hours. Excuse me sir, are there any other specials on the menu besides football? Baseball, you say? No thank you, I'll still with the pigskin then, thank you very much.

Onto the game, I enjoyed the color commentary once again. Joe and Chico are like dumb and dumber in there. They’re like best friends slash bitter rivals, just calling each other out and poking fun at the other’s mistakes. I have to say it though, the new Devils play by play guy is pretty annoying. I know he used to do the radio for them, so maybe that’s why his voice makes me feel like I’m driving in the freezing rain of a pitch black winter night. On Wednesday, Chico said that the guy’s dream was to be just like Sam Rosen. That’s understandable, but unlikely. I hope Sam never retires. I don’t want to feel how Devils fans must be feeling right now about the state of their broadcast booth.

The game itself was much more entertaining than Wednesday’s contest. We gave up an early goal, but then the new offensive confidence took over and we had our first lead of the season before you could even start getting negative. Richards and Gabby look like they’ve got some real good chemistry out there. Richards has great vision and loves to carry the puck and Gaborik is quickly getting used to the idea that he needs to score, not beat five guys and then score. You need those offensive guys who just seem to always get lucky bounces, and as you could tell from Adam Larson’s first career goal, Richards is that kind of guy. Wolski was alright with them out there, MDZ had a better game, Stepan had a nasty goal and looked like a sophomore surge waiting to happen. Rupp is one tall man and one hell of fighter, but it was great to see him handle the puck like an actual hockey player too. All in all it was a positive performance from the team just one game away from their plane ride to Europe.

Not everyone is on their way to Europe, however. Today’s first round of cuts saw 28 players assigned to their respective minor leagues. Some of them are not surprises, but I still would like to see a little more of Christen Thomas and JT Miller. Pavel Valentenko is considered the biggest surprise name on the list of dismissed players. The article I read said, “Valentenko probably wouldn't be on this list if it weren't for his performance last night”. Did he have a bad game last night? I didn’t really even notice him out there. Oh wait; I just answered my own question. Erixon, McIlrath, Bourque and Hagelin survive, so much still remains to be seen about who will and who will not have a roster spot at the end of preseason. Translation for us fans – we’re rolling deep and rich in talent.

I can't wait to see the full team together and roaring in mid-season form. Just seeing Gabs out there with Richards and Cally debuting his captaincy was great after so many months of anticipation. Injuries to Staal and Prust are slightly affecting the morale of fortune-telling fans, but even concussion rumors regarding our prized defensive asset won't get me down. The more I see, the more I like. The more I like, the more inflated my expectations become. 82-0 seems reasonable, right?

So I guess that’s it for now. To close out this post, I leave you with a haiku entitled “If Looking Forward To A Preseason Game Because I Want To See Jagr Beaten By The Rangers As Fast As Possible Is Wrong, I Don’t Want To Be Right”. Now excuse me while I go take a weekend afternoon nap…

Not much left to say
And not often I say this
Can’t wait ‘til Monday.

Last Night Lookback - NYR (1) vs NJD (2)

Apparently watching hockey is just like riding a bike; I hopped back on last night and rode that shit like my name was Lance Armstrong. I was edge of my seat on pure principal. My jump from the couch following Dale Weise’s tying goal was playoff quality and packed with enthusiasm. Sure, the passing wasn’t clean and almost all of our stars were missing, but I was on fire in my fandom and I dare you to doubt my mid-season form.

Despite the way my snide post-game status update may have sounded, I certainly wasn’t taking last night seriously. BUT! You do have to recognize the same old symptoms of frustrating Ranger hockey: mind-numbingly low scoring, wasted power play chances and untimely mental mistakes with the puck. Don’t get me wrong. I know exactly who was absent from the ice last night – Gaborik, Richards, Cally, Staal – I could go on for days. Even Coach was in the luxury box. Yeah Torts, screw that tiny Albany bench and its lack of basic amenities. “Call me when it’s time to go to Europe, I’m going to have a hot dog and watch it on TV.”

So I liked McIlrath last night; he had couple big hits and laid some Devils on the ice. Hagelin has wheels, no doubt about that. Talbot looked nasty. Not much in the way of scoring chances from the young oh-men, but I liked the look of Bourque and JT Miller out there. By the way, I missed the first couple seconds of that interview with Miller’s mom and didn’t see her face at all. She didn’t look at the camera while I was watching so I couldn’t tell if she was a MILF or not. Anyone want to weigh in on this one? It just seemed like she had the voice and the figure of a hockey mom cougar. Just curious…

And speaking of interviews with parents of prospects, everyone saw Sam Rosen’s seminal reference a la Ray Bourque, right? I heard “fatherly juices flowing” and went straight to the keyboard. Hysterical stuff. In fact, the whole announcing setup was really the highlight of the evening. Having both teams’ color guys in the booth provided balance injected with a light jesting humor. When Chico caved to the pressure and agreed with a ref’s call against his Devils, Joe Mic acknowledged the break from homer protocol by saying, “I haven’t heard that from you in, like, 7 years.” It's funny because it's true.

I’m being totally honest, I think that is how it should be for nationally televised games. Get Doc Emerick in there with both regular color guys and let the audience actually learn something about the teams they're watching. You don't even have to fire former Ranger Eddie Olczyk. Throw him back between the benches and fire Pierre McGuire like all of our lives depend on it. In fact, I kind of believe that my life does depend on the firing of Pierre McGuire. If year after year he keeps yelling through my TV and starting every statement by screaming “You know Doc and Edzo…”, I might just go ahead and kill him. Then I’ll spend the rest of my life in some Canadian prison playing hide the hockey stick with Mike Danton. Like I said, lives depend on this drastic change to the theory of color commentary.

So, yeah, we lost, but tomorrow should be fun. It'll be great when they get to Europe and preseason doesn't seem so flat. So to end this post, I was thinking I haven't done a haiku in a while. Why don't I leave you with a special poem designed to call out last night's biggest disappointment. I was excited to see what this guy would do and I was underwhelmed at best. This one is called, “Man, Michael Del Zotto Still Looks Mediocre”.

Giving up the puck
Just like last year all over
Hartford, here he comes(?)(!)

Snap Shot: The Season Has Started!

Oh hell fucking yes – hockey is back. Granted it’s only preseason, but after months of athletic inactivity I’m scraping for resin like a stoner out of weed. Fall has finally come. It’s back. I am actually sitting in front of my TV getting ready to watch a live and semi-meaningful game. Thank you, hockey gods. You don’t know how much I needed this.

In my opinion, one of the best parts of hockey season is the bi-nightly entertainment it provides via television. Quick, what’s your favorite TV show? Well, whatever it is, does it provide you with brand new two hour long episodes three to four nights a week roughly ninety times a year? Nope, didn’t think so. When I know a Rangers game is on that night, my day is just plain better. It’s filled with positive thoughts about how badly we’re going to kick the shit out of whoever it is we’re playing. I smile more. I hold the door open for complete strangers. I dish out the finger a lot less to annoying drivers who always seem to have New York or New Jersey lisence plates.

I got a brief glimpse of that good feeling groove during the Traverse City Prospects Tournament, but it just wasn’t the same. I missed the regular round of games but was pumped to see us slide into the finals after losing to Carolina. All day I was inexplicably happy. What was it again? Why was I in a good mood? Oh yeah, fucking Rangers game on tonight! Sure, it’s just the kids, but I’ll take it! So of course I get all dolled up to watch my blueshirts play for the championship, even though it’s in some high school looking rink straight out of MSG varsity. The kids were good but they lost in the end, beaten by a good Buffalo team we should all start being concerned about. We went 2-2 in total, but we came out of Traverse City with a lot of positive prospect press. I believe it was the great animated philosopher Gorillaz who once said, “prospects are useless, but not for long. The future is coming on.”

One thing the prospect tournament did teach me was to appreciate MSG Networks a little more. Do you know why the NHL Network could only show Ranger games from Traverse City? Because we’re the only team who sent a cable crew capable of televising it! I saw a ton of tiny town tools complaining about the New York bias on message boards and I laughed out loud at their grievances. Yeah, you wish you were Ranger fans! You wish you were the #1 most desirable television market in the world. It’s only because of our greatness that you were even able to watch your lowly Blues battle our precious Blueshirts. Take your city-envy and shove it where the sun don’t shine! And give us back JD! That brief press box appearance he made was priceless for us nostalgic types. OH Baby!!!

Ok, it’s game time. Gotta run. Did I forget something? Oh yeah, LET’S GO RANGERS!

PS - What the hockey stick is with these Technical Difficulties, MSG? I just spent two paragraphs praising your name. You better get this shit together before this game starts or I swear I’ll edit said praise to make it look like you lure kids into your van with promises of candy. Fucking Albany…